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You’re Tougher Than You Think (How To Get Better Results)

By GrlPwr

You’re tougher than you think. And I’ll show you.

And when I show you, you’ll get it and understand how knowing this truth will assist you achieve great results from your training.

“I had no concept how tough I was!” That statement doesn’t get old. When I’ve heard a woman voice that at the end of a challenging set or gunning for a new personal best, I’m satisfied.

My preliminary session with a woman over 10 years ago still sticks in my mind. She was squatting 95 pounds for 10 reps. She told me, “I’m stuck. I can’t get past that tenth repetition.” After completing her warm up I loaded her bar to 95. I advised that she not count reps and concentrate on nailing all reps perfectly; I’d let her know when to finish. She seemed confused and worried but I reassured her she was able to stop at any time.

After muttering, “I suppose this is what I’m here for,” she jumped under the bar and got to it. “Don’t count reps. Concentrate on each rep,” I told her. She easily banged out 10 reps. “You’ve got a couple more in the tank,” I encouraged her. 2 more later she stopped to take a breath. “They were smooth and easy. How about a couple more?” She squatted 3 more smoothly.

“That was over 10, wasn’t it?” 

“Actually 5 plus!”

“Seriously? I didn’t know I had that in the tank!”

Move Out of the Way

She had it in her mind that she was immobile at 10 reps with 95 lbs. However by concentrating on individual reps and the way it felt, she understood that she was more than capable continuing past the point she regularly would stop.

The final 5 reps were a challenge however they were attainable, as she showed herself. She was sore following that training session, but that is totally acceptable.

The next day she squatted 95 lbs for twenty repetitions.

This didn’t happen because she got amazingly strong within a short period of time; she pushed herself hard. Instead of stopping when it hurt, she knew she could power forward and crank out another smooth rep. If she was aware that she could always get another repetition — without poor technique — she would go for it.

This was done to demonstrate to her she was tougher than she thought. I did the same thing with other movements such as the Romanian deadlift, and the dumb-bell bench press. She promptly cruised past previous personal bests and made new PB’s.

All because she understood how tough she was, and what she was actually able to do.

Not everyone is able to do this, as there is some pain involved. There is nothing straightforward about a hard set of squats or deadlifts — finishing a set when you only able to complete 1 or 2 more reps. When your head is yelling, “No more, this hurts!” but you feel you’re able to do more, so you continue.

Those that are prepared to push their bodies and minds, to determine what they’re able to do, to accept the discomfort, reap the rewards.

The 3-Movement Workout

After warming up you carry out one all-out set for press-ups, foot-elevated split-squats, then inverted rows.

The Pathway:

  • Carry out two to three warm-up sets to get you ready and help you choose a weight, that permits you to carry out about 12-15 tough reps.
  • Perform one maximal set for each movement.
  • Carry out each set to failure: The main take away here is that you can’t do any more reps. Be honest with yourself! With split squats, your legs will get fatigued and burn, and your head will tell you enough, but chances are you can carry out more volume without sacrificing technique. You need to commit, and focus despite any physical challenges. (Clearly don’t train with an injury or the wrong pain.)
  • Carry out as many reps as you can, and take no more than one to two seconds after the final reps.
  • Every single rep must look as close as possible to the first: Use the same range of motion and technique.

The Exercises

1) Push-up or elevated push-up

You can either carry out regular press-ups or feet up press-ups using a barbell set in a squat rack. For the all-out set you need to figure out a variation that permits you to carry out about 12-15 reps; use the warm-up sets for this purpose. (If normal press-ups are too easy then do deficit press-ups, or increase the height of your feet.)

Carry these out with a controlled and full range of motion. The chest should touch the ground, or bar if doing these in a squat rack, on every rep.

2) Rear-foot-squat

Other variants are regular split squats, or a regular leg press.

I like the split squat or rear-foot-elevated split squat: You can make sure they are tougher by holding dumbbells. Carry out 2-3 warm-ups, add weight as you require so you can carry out around 12-15 reps, and do a single all-out set to technical failure.

3) Inverted row

I recommend the inverted row. Here’s a tutorial for this exercise:

Your chest needs to touch the bar on all reps. Carry out 2-3 warm-ups to select the correct height so you can carry out around 12-15 reps. Then carry out one maximal set.

The above movements were selected as you can quite safely push them maximally.

This three-exercise workout will make it clear to you you’re stronger than you think you are.

Filed Under: Health, Strength

Squats Don’t Work Your Glutes (Because You’re Squatting Wrong)

By GrlPwr

squats don't work your glutes because you're squatting wrong

“I like getting stronger with squats, but they don’t work my glutes,” she said.

She went on to perform a set of barbell squats and my initial assumption was correct: she wasn’t squatting correctly. That is why she thinks “squats don’t build glutes.” It wasn’t the exercise that was the problem; it was her execution of the movement that was at fault.

Saying squats performed correctly don’t work the glutes is like saying chin-ups performed correctly don’t work the biceps. If an exercise is performed properly through an appropriate range of motion, the muscle groups that perform the movement will “work.” And if performance is improved (e.g., perform more reps, add weight) consistently for weeks and months, muscle will be built.

How do you know if you’re performing squats correctly so they work your glutes? You need to (a) have a proper stance and (b) perform the exercise through a sufficient range of motion. Individuals who think squats don’t work the glutes typically fail to meet these criteria and have too narrow of a stance and don’t squat low enough.

The glutes are directly involved in the squatting movement, be it barbell squats or goblet squats; the main functions of the gluteus maximus (the largest part of the buttock) are hip extension and external rotation.

It stands to reason if we want to maximize the involvement of the glutes in an exercise we need to use them for their designed purposes. That means the stance and squat depth must be appropriate.

Squat Stance

Some people squat with their feet close together and toes pointed straight ahead. This doesn’t mean the glutes won’t be involved in the movement, but it’s not putting them in an ideal position for maximum involvement since the glutes are responsible for hip external rotation.

narrow stance

This would be a great stance for a deadlift or Romanian deadlift, but it’s not ideal for squatting. The feet should be wider, about shoulder width apart, and toes pointed out to the sides, anywhere from 5-30 degrees. Everyone is different; play around with the stance and foot position to find what’s most comfortable for your knees, hips, and back.

wider stance

What is the purpose of the wider stance and pointing the toes out? To make the glutes perform one of their main functions: to externally rotate the hip. This will be accomplished by keeping the knees out when squatting and making sure they track in-line with the feet at all times (i.e., don’t let them “cave in,” which is a common squat mistake).

knees in-line with the toes when squatting

The wider toes-out stance also engages the adductors (i.e., inner thighs) to a greater extent too, compared to the narrow stance with feet pointed straight ahead. When you use a shoulder-width stance and point your toes out a bit, don’t be surprised when your glutes and adductors are sore the next day.

Squat Depth

The proper depth for a squat is lowering down to the point where the crease in the hips is a bit lower than the tops of the knees. Put another way, the tops of the thighs should be parallel to the ground, or a little lower.

Stopping short of this depth as many commonly and mistakenly do on every rep or as a set progresses and fatigue accumulates and each rep is increasingly shallow, means most of the work is being done with the quadriceps, since the glutes aren’t moving through an appropriate range of motion.

shallow squat depth

To use your glutes effectively when squatting, they need to be worked through an appropriate range of motion, which is achieved when reaching the depth mentioned above (this way the glutes do one of their main jobs — extending the hips).

proper squat depth

If you want to work your glutes, you need to attain the proper range of motion. Aim for the point where the crease in the hips is a bit lower than the tops of the knees. (You can squat lower as long as you can maintain a neutral, rigid spine, but it isn’t necessary.)

proper squat depth views

Notice the squat depth — the crease in the hips is a bit lower than the tops of the knees in both the goblet squat (left) and back squat (right).

Are Squats All You Need for Maximum Glute-Building Results?

If squats are the main lower-body exercise in your training program — and you perform them properly and consistently improve your performance — they will build muscle on your glutes. If you’re a beginner strength trainee, a squat variation should be the main lower-body exercise in your program so you can (a) learn how to correctly perform this basic movement pattern, (b) build a solid foundation of strength, and (c) practice it frequently thus reinforcing the correct movement pattern and building strength and muscle quickly. This is why the goblet squat is the main lower-body exercise in Phase 1 of Lift Like a Girl and back squats in Phase 2; both are performed with a high frequency of two to three times per week.

This isn’t to say other exercises don’t work the glutes just as well or more directly, or other exercises can’t be used to maximize hypertrophy of the glutes. Using the chin-up example again: you can build a great pair of biceps if bodyweight and weighted chin-ups are the main upper-body pulling movement. But other exercises — palms-up grip rows, dumbbell curls, barbell curls — can be useful for maximizing hypertrophy.

The answer to the Are squats all you need? question is: it depends on your goals and training experience. Let’s look at two trainees.

Trainee A: She’s been squatting correctly and progressively (steadily adding more weight to the bar or performing more reps with the same weight) for over a year. She’s built her glutes using squats as the primary lower-body exercise, but she wants to make them grow more. She can achieve this goal by (a) squatting more frequently, (b) adding additional exercises like reverse lunges from a deficit, single-leg hip thrusts, and single-leg Romanian deadlifts to her training, or (c) modifying her training program and increasing training volume or changing the set and rep schemes (more on this one in a moment).

Trainee B: She’s been squatting correctly and progressively for over a year. She’s built her glutes using squats as the primary lower-body exercise (starting first with goblet squats to learn the movement and then progressing to barbell squats), and she has no desire to increase their size and shape further.

We’re in the midst of the build-a-bigger-butt era and tons of women want maximum glute hypertrophy. If that’s your goal too, that’s awesome. If you don’t care about attaining maximum glute size and shape, that’s awesome too. It’s your body and you should do whatever the heck you want to do with it.

Guidelines for Glute Building

What is your strength training experience? is the first question and What is your main goal? is the second, briefly address above, that need to be answered.

Strength training beginners, trainees more concerned with building strength and training efficiency (they don’t want to spend more time in the gym than necessary to achieve most of the results they’re after, or they’re very busy), and trainees not interested in maximum glute hypertrophy can focus mostly on squats, deadlifts, and Romanian deadlifts for most of their lower-body work. Tons of women have built strong, amazing bodies on a steady diet of squats, deadlifts, rows and chin-ups, bench presses and standing presses.

Intermediate strength trainees or those interested in maximizing their glute-building potential can focus mostly on squats, deadlifts, Romanian deadlifts and include exercises like rear foot elevated split squats, reverse lunges, single-leg hip thrusts, and additional glute-specific exercises.

And let’s not forget that every body is different. Some people may reach maximum glute hypertrophy with just squats and deadlifts. Some people may need a hefty volume of squats, lunges, and hip-thrust variations to maximize theirs.

Different Rep Ranges for Best Glute-Building Results

The benefit to using a wide range of reps? It allows you to work the fast-twitch muscle fibers with the heavy, low-rep sets and the slow-twitch fibers with the somewhat lighter, higher-rep sets.

If squats are your primary lower-body exercise, use a wide rep range for best glute- and leg-building results. First, get strong in a 5-8 rep range. Once you’d built a solid strength foundation (when you have trouble adding more weight in the 5-8 rep range) you can start including sets of 10-15 reps. There’s muscle-building value in 20-rep sets too, but don’t venture into that range until you’ve been strength training for many months. Twenty-rep squats aren’t as beneficial if the heaviest weight you can use is an empty 45-pound barbell. Get strong first and then include higher-rep sets when you can use a more challenging weight.

What You Should Do Next

Analyze your current squat stance and depth. How does it compare to the information above? You can test the new stance and depth, right now, with bodyweight squats: perform a set of 20 reps and you should immediately feel the difference. Or next time you’re at the gym, perform squats or goblet squats with the stance and depth guidelines above and experience the difference for yourself.

When you have your new stance identified (you may want to play around a bit with stance width and the angle you point your toes to find what feels best), get stronger in the 5-8 rep range. After several weeks of progressive training, you can then include sets of 10-15 reps. You’ll no doubt be stronger and have more muscle within a few months of consistent training.

Squats work your glutes. Squats will build your glutes. You just have to squat correctly.

Filed Under: Cardio, Fitness, Health, Strength

The Nocebo Effect: Are You (Unknowingly) Thinking Your Way to Failure?

By GrlPwr

nocebo effect: are you unknowingly thinking your way to failure

A patient taking part in an experiment is told her new medication may have symptoms such as nausea, stomach pains, and loss of appetite. Four weeks later when she revisits her doctor for a checkup she complains of nausea, stomach pains, and loss of appetite. “The side effects from this medication are terrible,” she groaned.

When the doctor reports that the “medication” she’s been taking are just sugar pills, she’s silent in disbelief.

How can someone experience side effects from a medication when they weren’t actually taking a medication?

This is the nocebo effect. It’s what occurs when negative expectations of a medication lead to a more negative effect than it would have otherwise. As you’ll see, the nocebo effect is not limited to medical treatments and drugs. Most of us, at one time or another, have likely had our own nocebo experiences with health and fitness. I know I have.

3 Common Ways People Nocebo Their Way to Failure

I’ll bet you can recognize yourself in at least one of these examples.

Lack of Sleep

Did you know getting at least seven hours of sleep every night has been demonstrated to boost fat loss, build muscle, and provide a host of other health benefits? Of course you do. Coaches and health professionals love touting the benefits of sufficient sleep, and I’m no exception. Sleep should be a priority. (And you better have a great mattress.)

It’s one element of your health and fitness regimen that requires you to literally do nothingbut can positively affect the results from your nutrition and workout efforts.

What does your day look like that was preceded by five hours of sleep or less? There’s no way I’m going to have a good workout today, you may have thought. And, chances are, you probably did have a terrible workout.

It may not have been due to lack of sufficient sleep, however. Your negative expectations of having a bad workout because of getting less-than-ideal sleep could be responsible for the bad workout. You noceboed your way straight to a crappy workout because of the negative expectations going into it.

What would happen if you just shrugged off the situation and didn’t give any merit to the night of less than ideal sleep? What if you approached your workout the same way you would have if you’d gotten a solid eight hours of sleep?

Circumstances can affect us (and in this example, our workout performance), but oftentimes it’s our perception of those circumstances, and the attitude we choose to embrace in response, that’s even more powerful.

Pre-Workout Supplements

I quite like the placebo effect. It occurs when someone experiences an improvement or beneficial outcome due to their positive expectations, despite receiving an inactive substance or no actual treatment.

Using the example from earlier, a patient taking part in an experiment is told the medication may give her greater energy and lead to deeper, more restful sleep. Four weeks later when she gets a checkup she reports having higher energy levels and getting more quality sleep. “It’s working!” she boasts. When told she’s been taking sugar pills, she’s perplexed as to how she’s been experiencing those positive side effects.

If your belief in something makes it have a positive effect (or even greater effect), what’s not to love? The power of placebo has been demonstrated repeatedly in research. One such study showed trained individuals increased their strength by over 300% simply because they thought they were taking steroids.

When it comes to pre-workout supplements, many include ingredients proven to boost performance (e.g., caffeine), but no doubt someone’s expectations of its affects make it more effective. The ensuing holy-crap-I-could-flip-a-tractor feeling they get after ingesting the caffeine-fueled mixture boosts their positive expectations of the product, so they may be more likely to have a great workout.

On the flip-side is the nocebo effect that can happen when someone can’t have their usual pre-workout supplement or caffeinated beverage of choice. “This workout isn’t going to be great — I ran out of my pre-workout mix,” I’ve heard people say. And when they have a lackluster training session, their previous belief about not being able to have a good workout without their pre-workout aid is solidified by the experience.

If you like to drink a cup of coffee or take a pre-workout supplement before your training sessions (especially one including squats and deadlifts), that’s great. I’m not saying not to use those things; nor am I saying they’re not effective apart from a placebo effect. But don’t be so reliant on them that if you run out or can’t have your usual pre-workout beverage/supplement that you allow negative expectations of a less-than-stellar workout cause you to actually have one.

Schedule Conflicts

If you’re the type of person who enjoys her routine, this one no doubt has affected you. Let’s say your routine got interrupted and you had to work out much earlier, or later, in the day than usual, or you had to work out on a different day of the week. Did you go into that workout thinking This is gonna be terrible because you weren’t able to work out at your preferred day or time?

Hopefully you’re starting to see how your mindset can greatly affect your performance, and results. This isn’t to suggest you can simply positively think your way out of extreme exhaustion or circumstances. If you’ve been operating on very little sleep for an extended period, for instance, it will eventually affect you. Or if you just got over the flu you can’t have an I’m-going-to-set-a-personal-record! expectation the first time you get back in the gym and simply will it to happen. But hopefully you see the importance of mindset when facing common, every-day situations.

There are countless other scenarios when you could be succumbing to the power of the nocebo effect. Regardless of the situation or circumstances, the takeaway is the same: Don’t make situations worse than they really are by piling negative expectations on top of them.

What you think has a powerful effect on your actions and outcomes. Your mindset can be a potent force of construction, or destruction. It’s your choice how it will be used.

Filed Under: Cardio, Fitness, Health, Strength

How to Make Goblet Squats Harder Without Adding More Weight

By GrlPwr

how to make goblet squats harder

Goblet squats are an excellent exercise. When executed properly, they train the legs, glutes, and abdominals in one efficient squatting movement.

Goblet squats are my go-to exercise for teaching the squatting movement to strength training beginners. Once a trainee gets quite strong with goblet squats, however, their one glaring drawback is revealed–the awkwardness of progressively loading the movement. Anyone who has shimmied a dumbbell weighing half their bodyweight, or more, into position knows how true this is.

Or what about those who work out at home with limited equipment and don’t have a whole row of dumbbells or kettlebells at their disposal? What about trainees who don’t enjoy doing squats with a barbell but still want to train the squatting movement progressively?

Improving your performance is mandatory with any strength training exercise if you want to get stronger, lose fat, or build muscle. This begs the question: How can goblet squats be made more challenging beyond simply increasing the weight, since this can be an issue (or not an option for those with limited equipment) for many trainees?

You perform more challenging goblet squat variations, of course. Below are video demonstrations of six goblet squat variations you can use to increase the challenge and intensity of goblet squats that don’t require the addition of more weight.

Goblet Squat Variations

The Goblet Squat

If you’re not sure what a goblet squat is or how to correctly perform the movement, watch this video first.

Constant Tension Goblet Squats

As shown in the demonstration, constant tension goblet squats are performed in a piston-like fashion. Don’t rest or pause at any point in the set, until you’re done. Whereas you can perform several additional reps in a set when you rest a few seconds in the top standing position, performing constant tension reps will fatigue your muscles quicker. This is a simple way to increase the difficulty of a set of goblet squats without adding more weight.

Tempo Goblet Squats

Tempo goblet squats are somewhat like constant tension reps, with the exception being the time taken to lower down and squat back up being intentionally slower. A general rule of thumb is to take approximately three seconds to lower down and squat back up.

Not only is this challenging on your muscles due to accumulating fatigue as the set progresses, but this is an excellent variation for those who need help mastering the squatting movement pattern, because the slower speed allows you to focus on your form at all points of the movement.

Slow Eccentric + Explosive Concentric

With this goblet squat variation, the eccentric (i.e., lowering phase of the movement) should take about three seconds. As soon as the bottom position is reached, the goal is to squat back up as explosively as possible (while maintaining control and proper form, of course). Stop the set when your speed slows down noticeably when squatting back up.

Goblet Pause Squats

When performing a goblet squat the traditional way–squatting down and immediately reversing the motion once the bottom position is reached–there’s a nice natural “rebound” from the muscles, courtesy of the stretch-shortening cycle (SSC). When you pause for two seconds or so in the bottom position, however, much of the SSC is eliminated, making the concentric (i.e., squatting back up) more challenging.

Goblet Squats with Isometric Hold

This is more of a “finisher” added to the end of a set of goblet squats. Any type of goblet squat can be performed for a set–regular goblet squats, tempo, constant tension, etc.–and that set is concluded with an isometric hold, in the bottom position, for ten to twenty seconds. A good target is to hold the bottom position until your legs feel like they’re being jabbed repeatedly with a hot poker.

Goblet Squat Workouts

It’s time to put those goblet squat variations to use.

The “Squat Faster!” Workout

With this workout, use the slow eccentric + explosive concentric goblet squat variation demonstrated above.

  • Reps: 3-6
  • Rest: 30 seconds
  • Sets: 8-10
  • Note: the number of reps performed for each set depends on the weight of the ‘bell: if it’s heavier, perform 3 reps; if it’s lighter, perform 6 reps.

The Rest/Pause

This goblet squat workout could also be called the “Nia, I hate you,” squat workout.

This is one long, extended set that is just as much a mental challenge as it is physical. Begin by performing one all-out set of 15+ reps (depending on the weight of the ‘bell used), rest 15 seconds, crank out as many additional reps as possible, rest 15 seconds, crank out as many additional reps as possible, rest 15 seconds, and crank out as many reps as possible one last time. Then have fun breathing fire and cursing me under muddled breaths.

The rest/pause method is excellent when you’re short on time but still want to have a productive workout, and that’s why it’s included in the Minimalist Workout Routines.

Notes:

  • Do not let your form break down as the sets progress. It’ll be a challenge, but stay focused and make sure every rep is performed correctly.
  • You can use any goblet squat variation demonstrated above; I prefer the constant tension style where you simply crank out as many as possible. You can also rest a few seconds in the standing position toward the last reps of a set, if you really want to squeeze out as many reps as possible and take this to a sadistic level.
  • I recommend resting the ‘bell on the ground between mini-sets and taking a few deep breaths.
  • You’ll know you did this correctly if, after resting a few minutes, you know you couldn’t possibly repeat another rest/pause set of squats.

The Goblet Squat Ladder

This one looks deceptively simple: Perform 1 rep, rest a few seconds, perform 2 reps, rest a few seconds, and repeat all the way up to 10 reps. Then, work your way back down starting at 9 reps, rest a few seconds, perform 8 reps, all the way down to a single rep.

Again, you can use any goblet squat variation, and I recommend resting the ‘bell on the ground between sets.

On the Minute

This workout depends on how heavy of a ‘bell you have to squat with. The heavier the ‘bell, the fewer reps you should perform for each set; the lighter the ‘bell, the more reps you should perform.

Set a timer and perform 5-10 reps at the top of every minute, for 10 minutes. The first few minutes will feel deceptively easy–the last few, not so much, thanks to accumulating fatigue.

100 Total Reps

Choose a goblet squat variation and perform 100 total reps in the shortest time you can muster.

It doesn’t matter how many reps you perform in each set or how many sets it takes–just perform 100 reps.

Keep a stopwatch handy to track your time–when you repeat the workout, aim to perform 100 reps in less time. (Be sure to use the same goblet squat variation and weight when you repeat the workout.)

Try one of those workouts for the leg work in your next workout, and see for yourself how challenging goblet squats can be without having to pile on more weight.

Filed Under: Fitness, Health, Strength

Eating in Moderation: How to Do It Right

By GrlPwr

eating in moderation

Eating in moderation is a noble goal. Too bad most people suck at it.

What does it mean to “eat in moderation”? We must define it if we’re to practice it properly. The definition varies widely depending on what beliefs someone has about nutrition, but here’s a simplified answer that’s void of stupid nonsense (calling any food group “evil” or “forbidden” or claiming one macronutrient is solely responsible for fat gain) and harmful dichotomous thinking (labeling foods good/bad):

Primarily eat a variety of whole foods most of the time — fruits and veggies, lean meats, fish, beans and legumes, nuts and seeds, herbs and spices, dairy, eggs, whole grains; don’t have “forbidden” or “off-limit” foods; enjoy your other favorite foods (alcohol, doughnuts, cookies, fried foods) occasionally, in reasonable quantities.

Recommended Article: Here’s the Simple Guide That Shows You How to Eat Healthy

Eating in moderation is a logical approach and can eliminate a lot of unnecessary stress and frustration that often accompanies nutrition. However, many people either (a) understand what eat in moderation means, but falter in the execution or (b) have a distorted understanding of what eat in moderation means.

Thanks to our diet-obsessed culture, here is what many people have unfortunately come to believe it means to eat in moderation.

bad example of eating in moderationBeing “good” during the week and eating the “bad” things over the weekend they successfully abstained from during the week is what some people consider eating in moderation. When you look at the quantity of not-super-healthy foods consumed on the weekend, it’s clear that they constitute a large amount of the weekly average food choices; not so moderate after all.

Here’s a proper example of what eating in moderation could look like.

good example of eating in moderationThis is one possible example of how to work in reasonable quantities of treats/refined foods into daily eating choices to successfully practice eating in moderation. This isn’t the only option, however, as some people may prefer to have a larger meal less frequently.

another good example of eating in moderationThe above images are mere examples. I’m not suggesting you must eat the same foods every day or those foods specifically — the images are examples of whole-food meals that include a good source of protein. The number of daily meals and food choices should be tailored to your eating preferences.

Eating in Moderation Gone Wrong

Eating mostly whole foods and including your other favorite foods in reasonable amounts is not only effective for improving health while allowing you to reach your physique and performance goals, but it’s great for your sanity; you needn’t avoid your favorite foods to reach your goals.

Perception is critical when discussing how to eat in moderation; you need to objectively see what’s happening. Here are three common categories people can fall into when having problems eating in moderation, and the solution for each one.

Example 1: Too Much, Doesn’t Realize It

“I eat sweets and other not-so-healthy foods in moderation, but I still can’t lose weight. Help!”

This category is the most common and the problem isn’t moderation; it’s the execution and perception of what eating in moderation looks like. Many people claim to eat not-super-healthy foods moderately, saying:

“Yesterday I had coffee and oatmeal with a piece of fruit for breakfast, a chicken salad for lunch, a protein shake in the afternoon, and I eat lean meat and vegetables for dinner.”

They say that’s what they’re eating, but the reality, oftentimes, is different. This can be proven by keeping a food journal. Yesterday’s food choices actually looks like this: A large latte made with whole milk and sugar, an instant oatmeal packet that was loaded with sugar, and a banana for breakfast; chicken salad topped with a pile of cheese and bacon and full-fat ranch dressing with a couple breadsticks on the side, and a sugary soft drink for lunch; a meal-replacement shake in the afternoon; a late afternoon doughnut in the breakroom at work; grilled fish with steamed vegetables for dinner, followed by half a dozen cookies and a large glass of milk.

This person claims they’re eating not-super-healthy foods moderately, when they actually make up a large portion of their eating choices. The reason they can’t lose weight is simple math; they’re eating too many calories. Many of their eating choices are calorie dense: full-fat dressing, lattes made with whole milk and sugar, soda, doughnuts, cookies. Those foods aren’t satiating, so they’re easy to overeat.

Solution: Keep a food journal for a week and record everything you eat and drink. This way you see what you are, and are not, eating. Afterward, aim to eat whole foods at least 80% of the time and track again for a week or two.

Example 2: Not Much, Doesn’t Realize It

“I eat sweets and other not-so-healthy foods too often and then feel extremely guilty. Help!”

Thanks to diets with obsessive, non-negotiable rules that come complete with a list of forbidden foods and food groups, this category is growing rapidly. The diet mentality has made people think they have to follow an eating plan perfectly, without deviation, or they screwed up and sacrificed all their hard-fought results.

This individual eats plenty of protein and whole foods at least 90% of the time, but if she enjoys a food in moderation, like a bowl of her favorite ice cream or a couple pieces of pizza, she thinks she over indulged and failed to eat moderately, even though those foods were 10% or less of her weekly average food choices.

This person is struck with guilt, shame, and concern that she screwed up her diet and instantly erased the previous week of work and effort. The problem here isn’t eating in moderation; it’s her mindset and the language she uses about food, and herself. (If I eat this I’m “good”; if I eat this I’m “bad.”)

Recommended Article: The Huge Problem with Guilty-Pleasure Foods

Solution: Vigilant, patient mental training and an abundance of self-compassion. Begin by erasing good/bad food labels. Tracking what you eat and drink for a week may help, so you can see what you’re actually eating, and what you’re not. For instance, someone who eats a scoop of ice cream and two pieces of pizza spread throughout the week will be able to see those foods are a very small portion of her eating choices and not some drastic over indulgence.

Example 3: The Domino Effect

Someone eats something “sweet” or “bad” and continues digging the hole deeper. They rationalize I screwed up so I might as well eat whatever I want then I’ll get back on track tomorrow. Certain foods trigger them into a downward spiral of less-than-ideal food choices for an entire day or two. This individual struggles to enjoy treats and certain foods in moderation; like a row of dominos, eating a treat builds inertia that leads to her making a string of less-than-ideal food choices.

Recommended Article: One Simple Hack to Stop Screwing Yourself Over

Solution: This isn’t one size fits all, but it can be helpful to first become aware of the situation and identify the trigger foods, then decide how to handle them. If eating peanut butter causes you to keep eating the peanut butter, how can you handle it? One solution for trigger foods is to portion them into individual-sized servings. This way when you want that food, you grab the container with the appropriate serving size without being tempted to keep digging in for more.

For other foods, it could be best to keep them out of the house and buy a serving when you want it. If you can’t keep a carton of ice cream in the freezer without dipping into it every day, and dividing it into individual servings just doesn’t work, don’t keep it in the house. When you want ice cream, go to your favorite place and buy a couple scoops. (Speaking of ice cream, you need to try this recipe: The Chocolate Protein Shake That Actually Tastes Like a Milkshake.)

How to Make Eating in Moderation Work for You

Eating in moderation won’t look identical for everyone. The challenge is finding the balance that allows you to reach your physique, health, and performance goals while allowing you to enjoy the lifestyle you’re building and to socialize with ease.

Take emotion out of it. Guilt, shame, pride and other emotions have no place when it comes to responding to what we put in our mouths. Responding emotionally is not the answer to overindulging; it helps absolutely nothing. If you tend to value yourself, positively or negatively, by what you eat, become aware of it and work on changing it.

Recommended Article: Don’t Respond Emotionally to Health and Fitness Slip-Ups

Avoid good/bad food labels. There is just food. Some foods are wholesome and nutritious: eat these most of the time. Some foods are heavily processed and not so nutritious: eat these less often, without a smidge of guilt.

Actively choose what you will enjoy. Plan ahead. If you’d typically have a couple drinks, a few fried appetizers, and an entree that wasn’t exactly healthy when going out on Friday night, have a plan for what you will do so you can enjoy yourself while staying on track. Have a drink; skip the apps; get your favorite entree with a side order of veggies instead of fries. This isn’t deprivation, nor is it overindulgence. It’s balance. It’s moderation.

Don’t have a scarcity mindset. The diet mentality has fueled the perception that we’ll miss out on something if we don’t eat what’s offered to us. This can occur if you work in a setting where food is readily available and people routinely bringing doughnuts, cookies, and desserts. This can cause us to think I have to eat this now because I don’t know when I’ll get something else. We need to realize we don’t have to partake in every eating opportunity, and we’re not missing out by not eating.

Keep a food journal for one week. This simple exercise already mentioned will give you concrete data to analyze. Look at the journal objectively (i.e., free from emotion and judgement) and see where progress can be made. Perhaps you’ll realize that your perception of eating in moderation is skewed. Maybe you’ll see where you can swap out common foods for whole-food options. Or maybe you’ll see you do eat in moderation and need to stop stressing unnecessarily.

Know your personality, and work with it. Some people do better enjoying a treat or favorite not-super-healthy food daily, like a couple pieces of a favorite chocolate or one piece of pizza as shown in the eating in moderation graphic above. Others do better having one larger meal/treat less frequently, like an ice cream sundae or a burger and fries with a favorite beer.

Recommended Article: Why That Diet Didn’t Work for You

Do what works best for you. Eat larger meals of your favorite not-super-healthy foods less frequently (burger, fries, and a beer) or have something smaller most days so you can enjoy your favorite foods more frequently (a cookie each day, one glass of wine in the evening).

Eating in moderation can work for you. Take the time to learn how to practice it properly, in a way that best fits your lifestyle and preferences.

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